I'lle tell you a pretty fine jest,
if that you do please it to hear,
For the truth on't I do protest,
I'm sure that you need not to fear:
It is of a valiant Cook-maid,
that lived at a Nobleman's place,
And five Taylor's that once was afraid,
when as they lookt her in the face;

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

This Noble-man upon a time,
had great store of work for to do,
But to bring every thing into rhime,
'twill study my brains you must know,
Five Taylors that lived hard by,
That worked for fourpence a day,
For Beef and for Pudding at night,
they'd better do so then to play:

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

These Taylors a great while did work,
two Masters, and their three men,
They laboured as hard as a Turk,
with Stitching both too and agen,
And when that their work it was done,
their money unto them was told,
Full five good pounds it is known,
of Silver, but not of red Gold:

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

And when as their money they'd got,
then who was so jocond as they
Each Man of the best drank his pot,
and homewards they straight took their way.
A Cook-maid there was in the house,
that us'd full merry to be,
Who went to her Master in haste,
and these words unto him did say,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

Master if that you please,
some pastime I for you will make,
But to lend me a horse then (quoth she)
and this money I from them will take,
Her Master then hearing the jest,
would try what this Cook-maid could do
Some mirth he did think it the best,
as Gentlemen will do you know,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

A horse then was sadled with speed,
and boots and Spurs she put on,
And other materials most fit,
because that she would not be known,
A horse-back she straight got astride,
with a Hogs-Pudding in her hand,
And meeting these Taylors in haste,
she presently bid them to stand,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

Deliver your Money (quoth she)
or else your manhoods now try,
Or by this same thing in my hand,
every man of you shall dye,
Then out her Black-pudding she pull'd,
which sore did the Taylors affright,
They thought it had been a pistol well charg'd
because 'twas late in the night.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

They beg'd their lives she might save,
we are but poor taylors (quoth they)
And truly no money we have,
for we work but for four-pence a day,
You lye like all Rogues (quoth she)
and do not my patience provoke,
For 5 pounds you have tane for your work.
so presant that worddid them choak,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

That money deliver with speed,
if that you think well on your Lives,
Or by this same thing you shall bleed,
the which will go farther then knives,
Then out of their pockets their money they took
with many a sorrowful tear,
and gave it into her hand,
here's all on't each Taylor did swear.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

And when she their money had got,
she set Spurs and away she did run,
The Davil go with you (quoth they)
for i'me sure that we are undone:
But when that this Cook-maid came home,
strait unto her Master she told,
And show'd him his money again,
how passages went she did unfold,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

But here comes the cream of the jest,
those Taylors which was such Men,
After they'd stood pausing a while,
then back they returned again,
They came with a pittiful tone,
their hair stood like men bewitcht
To'th Gentleman they made their moan,
for their mony their fingers it itcht,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

The Gentleman laugh'd inconceit,
how many was there said he,
Sure you were all men sufficient
to a beaten above two or three;
Truly we saw but one man
the which took our money away,
But we feared he had partakers in store,
or else he should never a carried the day.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

He was well mounted upon a good steed,
and a Pistol that put us to studying,
You lye like all fools (quoth she)
it was but a black Hogs-Pudding:
Thus the poor Taylors did jeer
and the Cook-maid laugh'd in conceit,
That with nothing but a black Pudding,
and that five Taylors should beat,

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

The straightaway the Gentleman spoke,
what will you give then (said he)
To have all your money again,
and the face on't once more to see:
Quoth the Taylors we'l give the ton half,
and that's very fair you do know,
Altho' that we were such fools,
to part with our good silver so.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

The straitways he call'd for the Cook,
then the Taylors did laugh in their sleeve
And set her to cunjuring strait,
which made the poor Taylors believe
That she by her art had it found,
and show'd them the place where it lay,
Which made the poor Taylors to smile,
so merry and jocand was they.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

Here take half the money said they,
the which we did promise to you,
And for you we ever will pray,
for such Cook-Maids there is but a few,
I'le have none of your money she said,
as sure as i'me hear alive,
One may know what Cowards you are,
to let a Hogs-Pudding to fright you all

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

And thus the old Proverb is true,
nine Taylors do make but one man
And now it doth plainly appear,
let them all do what they can,
for had they been stout hearted Lads,
they need not called for aid,
Nor afraid to tast of a Pudding,
nor yet be'n out-brav'd by a Maid.

O this was the valiant cook-maid,
without either Pistol or Gun,
But with a Black-pudding did fright,
five Taylors, and put them to 'th run.

FINIS